Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
