NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I need to align my fucking chakras
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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