I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize