U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
