Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
