i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
