doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
