Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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