Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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