Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
