There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize