So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
ok first of all what the fuck
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
