so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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