i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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