i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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