everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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