yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
