My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
