it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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