so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
