He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I intend to get homeless drunk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
