I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
