I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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