We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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