Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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