i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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