I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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