Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
