Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
