My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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