all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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