Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
