she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
why is half of my head shaved?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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