What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
