When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
