they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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