i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize