the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
