yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize