in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
