Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
