Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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