Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
