Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
