I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
