A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
