If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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