No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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