I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
