Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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