Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
