i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
