Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
