Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
