Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize