The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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